I remember once when I was a kid, my Uncle had been in a motorcycle accident and had to have his jaw wired shut. He was ok, but I thought that was the weirdest thing, and I couldn’t help but wonder how he ate with his mouth wired shut like that. Then one day he was over at our house making himself a couple peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. I happened to come into the kitchen at just the right time because he still had everything out and asked if I would like one. Well, being a kid, of course I wanted one. So he generously put together a sandwich to rival all sandwiches, it looked delicious and my mouth was watering. He then proceeded to pick up the entire pile of sandwiches and throw them all into the blender to be puréed into what can only be considered a sort of slimy peanut butter and jelly gruel. I was already teetering on the brink of nausea, but it wasn’t until he poured my peanut butter and jelly sandwich into a glass and threw a straw into it that I ran from the room with not a moment to lose. That sight still sticks with me to this day.

I learned two things that day; I learned how people eat with their jaw wired shut, and I learned that I never want my jaw wired shut.