It may be true that our food has no cognitive thought, but are we sure it has no thought at all? I’m pretty sure that everybody has dropped their piece of toast, or a piece of bread with peanut butter on it. And you don’t have to conduct that experiment too many times to realize that more often than not it is going to land on the business side. I suppose there are all kinds of arguments that say that physics have something to do with it. But I say it is simply a last great act of defiance. What do you do with a piece of toast that fell on the ground butter side down and has now amassed a dirt crust? You throw it away of course. And now the toast is free to go to the dump where it can live out the rest of it’s existence in peace while cultivating it’s little zen mold garden and gaining enlightenment.

If you ask me, I think we need to incinerate toast that has fallen on the floor. It’s smarter than we think, and it’s out there amassing it’s mold army, just waiting for the right time to take over the world. It’s dangerous and should be dealt with as such. Viva la revolution!