We were all raised to chew with our mouths closed and don’t talk with our mouths full. But what about the deaf? They use their hands to talk, so I suppose it wouldn’t be considered rude for them to talk with their mouths full. Obviously, being deaf has it’s difficulties, but when you think about things like this, I guess it has it’s benefits too. You never have to listen to a nagging spouse or parent, fingernails on a chalkboard have no affect on you and you can talk with your mouth full. I suppose the only drawback is that you would have to put down the big greasy turkey leg between bites to be able to carry a conversation. Nobody wants to have turkey flung at them from across the table any more than they want it spit at them. Of course there are many single hand and single finger words that you could fall back on in a pinch, but I would only use those as a last resort when someone is abusing the fact that you can’t say anything because your hands are full of food.

So remember to put the food down before talking or it may be misconstrued as a food fight, and that could take your night in a whole new direction.

* Before you come after me with pitchforks and torches for having such irreverence for people with a disability, my wife is blind and I have nothing but respect for people with disabilities. But sometimes there are hard questions that people are too apprehensive to approach. That’s where ArDuffle comes in.