Why is it that things can be so cute and cuddly yet be so nasty and vicious? I think that if something has the means and the attitude to kill you without thinking too much about it, it should have to be ugly and scaly and something you wouldn’t want to pet anyway. Nobody has ever said, “ooh look, an alligator. Let’s go pet it.” And you don’t see too many people running up to a hippo to give it a great big hug. But you throw a koala bear into the area and suddenly everybody wants to pet it, those things are vicious. If you really want a good example of what I’m talking about just look at Gremlins. Yeah, that’s right, I went there. Take Gizmo, he’s cute, he’s cuddly, he giggles. You want to pet him. You can pet him. But feed him after midnight and you wind up with nasty little savages running around tearing up the town. They’re scaly, they’re slimy, they’re ugly. You don’t want to pet them. You can’t pet them. See the correlation?

So next time you want to pet the cute and cuddly looking raccoon, count your fingers first because you may not be getting them all back.