I’m not sure what the thinking is behind wearing Speedo’s to the beach. You’re not fooling anyone, there is no race today, and even if there were, you would not be in it. You know they have whole swimming trunks at our disposal now, you don’t have to run around in your underwear anymore. I think they figure that if women can wear bikinis, then why shouldn’t men be able to wear Speedo’s. Well, first of all, women are attractive, hairy guys in tiny little britches are not, Chewbacca. Second, women also wear toenail polish, do you want some of that too buttercup?

I suppose we can at least be thankful that they are too modest to wear a thong or things might really go downhill. However, if you want to sport a thick mustache, some dark glasses and a few gold chains with that Speedo, then carry on. The beach is yours my friend, work it.