I remember the ads when I was a kid for the Tootsie Pop, and I hated that owl. For being such a wise animal, he sure came off as a smug Tootsie Pop thief. He totally took that kids Tootsie Pop, ate it right in front of him, and then didn’t even give him a real answer. Then he even had the nerve to give the kid back the stick. “Here kid, I just wanted the candy, you get the trash.” But, he not only robbed that kid, but millions of other kids like me who were glued to the t.v. the first time that commercial aired, we were finally going to have the wisdom of the ages imparted to us. Just how many licks does it take to get to the Tootsie Center of a Tootsie Pop? And then it happened. Three licks and crunch. That’s it?! I knew it only took three licks to get impatient and finally bite into it. But I’m a kid, I’m supposed to be impatient, it comes with the job description. Well, call that one a bust.

I think one of these days I may have to finally test it out just for science sake. But I think I have a lot more growing up to do, I still can’t get very far without biting into it.